Somewhere between crests and troughs.

I'm writing this with absolutely no idea how my life will turn out.

I've made decisions. I've taken steps. I've said yes to some things and no to others. Some of those decisions were carefully thought through. Others? Well, I just had enough hope to believe that maybe they would lead somewhere.

And somehow, they've brought me here.

The question now is, how far will they take me?

Honestly, I don't know.

I don't know what my life will look like in a few years. I don't know if the things I'm fighting so hard for now will eventually make sense. I don't know if I'll look back at some decisions and think, Thank God I did that, or wonder what exactly I was thinking.

And maybe that's one of the strangest things about life.

You just don't know.

Sometimes, I think life is like a graph. Or maybe a wave. There are crests and troughs. Moments where everything seems to be going up and you're like, Oh. Maybe I'm finally getting somewhere. Things begin to make sense, even if only a little.

And then, somehow, the line begins to drop again.

Suddenly, you're back in that spiral. Questioning things. Wondering what the next step is. Wondering if there even is a next step. Trying to understand how you went from feeling like you were on top of the world to sitting somewhere, completely unsure of what to do with your life.

But maybe that's just it.

The graph doesn't stay up forever. Neither does it stay down.

The wave rises, and it falls. And rises again.

And somewhere between the crests and troughs, between the moments when we think we have life figured out and the moments when we absolutely do not, we keep living.

Sometimes, it's okay not to know the way forward. To not know the next line of action. To not know what to do next, or say next.

Being okay with it doesn't mean it's comfortable, though.

It isn't.

It really isn't.

There is nothing particularly comfortable about uncertainty. About trying when you don't know if it will lead anywhere. About making decisions without knowing where they'll take you.

But then, somehow, every day, there is this tiny piece of hope.

Sometimes, it's barely there. Sometimes, I have to search for it. But somehow, it keeps showing up just enough to make me think, Okay. Let's try again today.

And so I do.

I fight. I struggle. I overthink. I get tired. Sometimes, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

But I keep going anyway.

Not because I know how everything will work out.

I don't.

I'm still in the middle of the graph myself. I don't know if I'm currently going up, coming down, or standing somewhere between both.

But I guess that's what makes life, well, life.

The not knowing.

The rising and falling.

The tiny pieces of hope.

And somehow, choosing to live through all of it anyway.